Definitive Ranking of All 13 Flavors of La Croix

Definitive Ranking of All 13 Flavors of La Croix

Don’t deny it: you go through at least one case of La Croix each week, but if you’re really being honest with yourself, it’s more like two or three. And everyone you know has their go-to flavor about which they are way more passionate than they should be. You’ve seen relationships end over La Croix fights. Maybe you haven’t, but that would suck. Anywho, if you’re still trying to find your La Croix bae, I present to you the definitive ranking of La Croix flavors which you can rest assured is 100% accurate. Accept no alternatives.

13. Coconut

Look, I appreciate what they’re doing. I really do. But if I wanted to to drink watered-down, sparkling sunscreen I would. Actually I would never do that, and that’s why coconut is at the bottom of this list.

12. Lemon

You know when the lights come on at the bar, but you’ve got that one last sip in your vodka/soda/lemon? Maybe it’s a little warm. Maybe it’s a little watery. But by golly you paid for that warm watery lemony vodka and you’re going to drink it. That’s the taste you get when you drink a lemon La Croix.

11. Apricot

La Croix describes apricot as a “never-been-done-before flavor” and perhaps it should have stayed that way. Apricots belong on a cheese plate paired with a nice funky but soft bleu cheese. They do not belong in your fridge with your other methods of hydration.

10. Tangerine

Again, I love that La Croix is introducing less common fruit flavors to the general public, but tangerine just doesn’t do it for me. If it’s Sunday morning, and it’s the only cold drinkable liquid in my fridge, I’ll take it. But I’m not going to go buy a flat of it on Amazon.

9. Orange

First of all can anyone actually decipher the difference between tangerine and orange? If you said yes, you’re lying. Orange is only slightly higher than tangerine because somehow La Croix packed in a few more bubbles. So while the flavor isn’t any different, that extra effervescence scores it some bonus points.

8. Lime

The best part about lime La Croix is that you can make yourself a nice mixed drink without having to cut up any limes for flavor. The worst part is that it tastes like a watered down version of that mixed drink (see above) when consumed alone. However, it is 1000000 times better than lemon, and it’s like a calorie-free less sweet Sprite so good work.

 

7. Peach pear

Who would have ever thought to put peaches and pears together in a refreshing effervescent drink? Not me! Thank goodness for the good people at La Croix. This guy starts off with a light kick of peach and finishes with just the right amount of pear to leave you saying “yummmm peachypears.”

6. Mango

Mango is far and away the better of the two stone fruit options La Croix has to offer. I know what you’re thinking: “Ew! Mango? Those things stink!” But don’t let your bad experience with a bad batch of mango sticky rice lead you astray here. Mango La Croix is just what the doctor ordered.

5. Passionfruit

If you’ve never sliced open a fresh, perfectly-ripe passionfruit and scooped out all of those tart little seedy innards as a mid-afternoon snack, you’re doing it wrong. Similarly if you haven’t gotten on board the passionfruit La Croix train, you may want to head back to the station. This has the perfect blend of tart and refreshing to tantalize even your daintiest tastebuds.

4. Cran-raspberry

You know how airlines always serve cranberry juice blended with some other ambiguous juice when you order a cranberry juice on there? Sometimes it doesn’t always turn out great. What does turn out great is La Croix cran-raspberry which’ll have you feeling like you’re in a sparkling cranberry bog on a giant, floating raspberry.

3. Pure

The only reason this isn’t higher is because it felt dumb putting a flavorless drink as the first or second best on a list of flavors. Pure is pure delight. All the thirst quenching, hydrating, detoxifying qualities of water but with a gratuitous rush of tiny, little, happy bubbles.

2. Pamplemousse

For those of you who, like myself, find the French language to be a little tricky and cumbersome, this is french for grapefruit, and you should run, not walk, to go pick up a case, or four, right now. The other citrus flavors are pretty mediocre, but pamplemousse picks up their slack and brings home a solid silver medal.

 

1. Berry

ALL HAIL THE BERRY. Who cares that they don’t identify exactly which berry this is supposed to taste like? That doesn’t matter. La Croix has taken the best of all berries and put them into a perfectly light flavor. It’s perfect alone. It’s a perfect mixer. It’s not even that bad at room temp when times are tough! Haters gone hate, but berry is berry berry tasty. 😉

Now go out and get your self some La Croix. You’ll thank me later.

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