With the horse race season gearing up, if you’re going to be going to the races, these are 50 “potential” thoughts every girl may have:
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For once I’m actually excited to be awake this early on a Saturday. Let’s do this!
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Time for a shower beer.
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Damn I look good in Lily!
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I hope this bus has a bathroom. Oh, we’re here?
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Time to gamble. I’ll take $100 on #7 to show. No idea what that means but I’m pretty sure I’m going to win.
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I can’t believe I’m not drunk yet, this is egregious! What am I doing wrong?
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Did you see that girls dress? Ew, this is not Coachella.
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Okay, where’s our tent? I need a drink.
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Has anyone seen my drunk friend from the bus?
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Ooh, trumpet, that means the first race is starting, right?
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Score, found the tent. Free booze.
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I still can’t see the track. -
By the beard of Zeus that girl’s hat looks like a dead porcupine.
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Oh hey bow-tie hottie. Target locked.
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Where’s my Mint Julep? I need another Mint Julep.
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Has anyone seen a horse yet?
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Is there any food? Hey is this our food?!? I’m totally eating this food.
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Maybe I should have some water. I can’t find any water. I need another Mint Julep.
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I think bow-tie hottie is looking at me. Hey boy hhheeeeeyyyyyyy!
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How do I know when my horse goes?
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It’s over!?! Uh-oh…I think I’m on the verge of blacking ou….
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Where am I? Oh, I’m on the bus thank God. Where did I get these Doritos?
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Where did I get a water bottle filled with tequila?
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Sh!t, did I win my race? There goes $100 bucks.
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Oh hey bow-tie hottie, you’re on our bus too?
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Where is my friend I came here with?
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Okay, back in civilization, I no longer see farms.
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Wait, when did lose a shoe?
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Let’s definitely go to that house party. It’ll be classy, they have a mint plant.
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Dibs on Uber with bow-tie hottie.
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I think I’m going to be sick…
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Nope, I’m good, let’s rage. Wake up dude (previously bow-tie hottie), we’re here. Lock it up!
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OMG CHIPOTLE PULL OVER!!!!
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Why is this guy wearing my hat?
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This is not as classy as I thought.
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Ohhh Champagne!
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What’s this hot guy’s name? Clayton? Winship?
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Who are all these people?
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Why is there no more Champagne?!?!
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Are we really listening to “Wagon Wheel” again?
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Where’s bow-tie hottie?
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Wait, are we out of beer too?
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Damn it when did everyone leave? Now what?
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Vague memory of making out with bow tie hottie.
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How is it 7:00am?!? Oh no, I passed out. Double oh no, bow-tie hottie is not that hot.
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Why is everyone looking at me walking home? It’s Sunday, I could be dressed for Church!
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Why it is so bright?
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Where is my hat?
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Victory, I have my keys and my phone AND my $100!
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When’s the next horse race thing (still never saw a horse).
Good luck out there and keep it classy ladies!