Top 10 Costumes for the Most Basic of Betches

It’s that time of year again. Fall is the basic betches Christmas: sweaters, pumpkin spice anything, apple picking, and pumpkin carving. While we in DC pride ourselves on being some of the most brilliant political minds in America, some slip through the cracks. 

Here are 10 costumes you’re guaranteed to see the most basic of betches wearing in DC for halloween:  

1. Sandy from Grease

A crowd pleaser to be sure. Leather jacket, leather pants. But come on girls, if you’re not blonde, move on.

2. Native American/Indian

Maybe not the best idea for a costume this year, particularly in the midst of Redskins-gate.

3. Animal ears of ANY variety 

…nuff said. 

4. Cowgirl/Daisy Duke

Been there. You forgot to get a costume, so you throw on your cutoff jeans, plaid shirt, put your hair in pigtails, and grab your boots. But come on, represent the South with some class, ladies.

5. Disney Princess 

Scantily clad obviously, and whichever princess is newest or easiest to slut up.

6. CRAYONS

Every. Year. You’re too old to use a crayon, let alone dress as one.  

7. “Slutty” public servant 

We’re talking cops, firefighters, doctor/emt, honestly I’m shocked I haven’t seen a slutty mail lady yet.

8. Ballerina

 You’re not five. Give your niece her tutu back.

9. Politician

Sarah Palin, Kristi Noem, Michelle Obama, etc. Any “hot” female politician who can be made “slutty” by unbuttoning a few buttons. 

10. Slutty Athletes 

Sure, sports analogies are prominent in our everyday lives, but you’re not fooling anyone, girls. The boys still know you don’t know the difference between a touchdown and a homerun. 

Even if it’s weird, try some originality. 

Happy Halloween, basic betches! See y’all out there.